lining up where I shouldn’t

Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself only to the person you were yesterday. @toddclark

The comparison trap will cause me to believe what I see, and forget what I know. Beth Kinder  www.strongholdthebook.com

I have a problem with my mirror. Maybe you can relate.

My mirror doesn’t show just my reflection, but lines me up beside others I compare myself to, every time i approach it.

In fact, I can’t remember a time besides my wedding day, that i looked in the mirror and just saw me.

Until yesterday.

I decided after having some fun with matching my red undertones for an all over foxy red these past eight months to head back to my roots.  Which are a dirty blonde with i suspect a few streaks of grey.  I am trying to simplify my life, and fussing with hair dye every time my roots show is too high maintenance for me (but that is me, if you can do it, bless you!)

After my daughter helped get all the dye on, i realized that as I was looking in the mirror, I was wondering what people would think if the grey starts coming in as I let my hair go natural.

Then i thought of a few women i know who always have perfect coiffed hair, as my nana would say.  Without a hair out of place.

And as my mind began to wander down that path, this time i caught myself, as i reminded myself of a quote that came to mind:

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I don’t need to worry or compare myself to others, because let’s face it, everybody is struggling with something.  Just because it can’t be seen on the outside, doesn’t mean it isn’t there on the inside.

I am tired of judging myself by people’s standards, and lining their opinions up beside me in the mirror.

I choose His standard for me, which is Jesus.

I choose His design for me, which is unique.

I matter to Him, because of His timely & costly investment in me.

I don’t have to compare myself to anyone, but rather I choose listen to His heart for me, which is to live free & close to Him.  I choose to change the things He is most concerned about uprooting from me, and embrace the newness He has waiting for me.

Quite frankly, my hair color, or my extra weight, or my freckles, or my naked nails are between God & me.

Stop allowing the enemy to invite other people into the conversation God wants to have with you alone.

It was quite a jolt to my mind to realize where my thoughts naturally start to wander.

And they wandered back to a particularly hurtful grade 7 classmate, who embarrassed me in front of the whole class through her writing about me. Which I believed has been fully dealt with, not!

God reminded me today that the reason there was still an entry point for the enemy was due to my harboring unforgiveness, and shared with me that the person wasn’t trying to be deliberately cruel as it came across, but was very insecure & jealous and was trying to knock me out of competition for our mutual friend’s affection.

By my not forgiving her as a person, but just the action, I allowed a piece of the root to remain, and the enemy has been nurturing it to grow down deep over the years.

I am so done with that!

So i pray,

“God, I fully and completely forgive S___________. I believe Your blood is more than enough to forgive all my sins, and I extend the same mercy to her that You extended to me. Full & utter forgiveness in Jesus’ mighty name.  Wherever she is, I ask You to release Your Spirit to whisper the truths You long for her to hear into her mind, heart & spirit.  I ask You to restore to me the joy I had in being myself, in embracing who You designed & called me to be.  Uproot the enemy plant You have just destroyed, and release a fresh sense of Your wholeness and peace where it used to live.  May I ever delight in hearing Your words spoken over me. May I ever trust in You as the Lover of my Soul.  May i never lose the wonder of knowing how much YOU delight in ME. May I continually bring the things which are breaking me down & place them into Your hands for You to build me up. Where the enemy played for harm, restore Your goodness & purpose in my life.  Blessed be the Lord!  I pray this as one of Your beloved, Abba.  In Jesus’ name, and Holy Spirit power. Amen.”

Instead of letting ourselves see just our outer beauty, let’s join God in seeing His hand & move in our lives.  As children of the King, as the beloved bride of God, let’s allow the Lion of Judah to arise within, and move forward in the confidence of who we really are.

self-improvement

No matter what we look like its who we are inside that truly counts.

His handiwork.

His child.

His delight,

His beloved.

His!

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Author:

Just me. Blogger, writer, singer, worshiper, wife, mom, coworker, friend, daughter & child of God with a passionate, grace-soaked, hope-filled, wonder-gazing & great-full heart! Finding hope in His Presence every day because He calls me Beloved!

2 thoughts on “lining up where I shouldn’t

  1. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. You wrote about it so beautifully. That our conversations with God should not include others is spot on!! Awesome job and blessings over you and your ministry this week:)

    Like

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