What do you do when your answer isn’t coming?
Because the loving God I know intimately has only the best for me…I know this deep deep within my soul. I believe His promises. I know His character never changes. He says He is for me, and He is all in, all the time.
So what do I do when after 31 years when an old adversary rears its head again, after being kept under control for the past few months?
When not only does it swiftly come back with a vengeance, but does so embarrassingly and very, very publicly?
I got mad.
So mad that the tears I wanted to cry didn’t have a chance to come out, as I am still mamma bearing over the continued bumbling over my daughter’s health situation.
I cleaned myself off as much as possible, and shifted from reaction mode into full tilt pursuit of God mode.
The enemy picked the wrong time and wrong person to piss off this time.
I prayed. Not long, or with many words, but:
“Enough, God. Shift the atmosphere around me to repel this attack, because if You are for me, this isn’t Your handiwork. I have had enough in my own strength. I need Your strength and endurance to help me through. Be my never failing hope, right here, right now.”
And I have a peace despite my stirred up emotions.
I know that I am in good hands.
I know He has plans for me to bless, prosper and lead me to a future beyond what I can imagine as I lie here now in discomfort and wearily type.
The same God I proclaimed and praised this morning at church, in the car this afternoon, and as I write this early evening….is with me.
He is more than enough for the worst the world can wrangle my way. He continues to be there, helping me cope with the crisis, change as He calls, and cooperate with His Spirit as He lovingly leads me forward with care.
God is all in, always.
All in? As in all of Him is for me: when Jesus gave His all on the cross,
in whatever I am facing in this moment,
always, and forever.
In good times and through the bad, I am all in.
My hope is found in God.
Life, in its ups & downs, is temporary.
God is not.
I choose God to keep my focus and hope upon.
I only see things from my view point. God sees all things in all time. I can trust He is in control, even when I cannot see it.
And when a new situation suddenly shows up, sooner versus later, as one always seems to?
I will remind myself again that God is my true home. My refuge.
And I am safe in His embrace through it all, always.