ankle deep

A few times in the past few months, I have heard the call to go deeper.

Beyond the wading area I tend to linger in…where I am ankle deep but I can still make it out quickly back to shore should I feel threatened.  I am deep enough to feel the longing to go in deeper, but not so deep to fully give over my control.

I am tired of wading ankle deep.

All it does is leave me desperate for more.

You see, when I feel God move, there is a part of me that wants to jump in, let go and let God take me wherever He intends for me to go.

But there is a part of me also crying at the thought of losing control, wary of potential dangers, and if I am honest, a smidge of what will people think in the mix.

All the way, or stand in the way.

I am tired of wading ankle deep.

The battle raging within me likely rages within us all.

We want to be safe, secure, and in control.

On our terms.

God wants us to rest safe in Him, stand securely in who He is and who we are in Him, and for us to join Him where He is leading.

On His terms.

Standing ankle deep only gives a glimpse of the wonder God has waiting for me, for us, when we stop trying to control everything, even how much of God we are going to allow into our lives.

I am tired, so tired of ankle deep.

I have been listening more, speaking less lately. I have heard things I otherwise wouldn’t when I sensed God told me to just listen.

I have been speaking up where I would usually leave the waters undisturbed when I am upset by something. God has given me the right wording to use when I listen for His insights.

I have been sensing snippets of worship songs and memorized verses as I rest before God despite lots on my mind, and my plate. God has given me peace in the midst of it all.

Years ago, I had an extreme fear of heights. It stemmed
from (long story) falling out of a car when I was quite young, something I did not remember.

I waded in ankle deep right after getting married, and managed to zip line after a high climb, trusting God would take care of me.

A few years later, as a mom of a very young child, i didn’t want to pass this fear on to my children, so I asked someone to pray for me.

As they did, I got an image of myself as a small child on a swing, swinging back and forth.  Jesus was there beside me as I was swinging. He moved so He was in front of me, and asked me to jump. I told Him i was too scared. He told me He would catch me, He would not let me fall.  I took the leap, and He caught me.

Since then, I have been able to go up the CN Tower and high water slide towers at Wonderland without any major fear of falling, which was the real root of my issue with heights…stemming from that fall from the car.

I could have stayed in the ankle deep water, believing God could free me but not taking the leap to allow Him to prove it.

I would have missed out on seeing how God did so in a way that confounds those who hear this story.

Its time to move into all God has for me.
No more hanging out ankle deep.
Its time to head into unknown waters,
for I know God will keep me safe and lead me as we go, together.

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Author:

Just me. Blogger, writer, singer, worshiper, wife, mom, coworker, friend, daughter & child of God with a passionate, grace-soaked, hope-filled, wonder-gazing & great-full heart! Finding hope in His Presence every day because He calls me Beloved!

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